On a Balcony in Waikiki

I am sitting upon a balcony in the middle of Waikiki the bustling tourist center of Honolulu. It is exciting like New York City, tropical like Miami, luxurious like Los Angeles, and has the flair of Tokyo with all the Japanese influence of this place. The ocean is ahead of me it goes on for miles seemingly never ending. It is a thrill, but being here, away from all of the stress of college, and the craziness of my life in the interim has been rejuvenating.

Unfortunately the circumstance for why I am here is less than ideal. My grandma’s passing away has really made me think about how much she lived through and how important it is for me to carry on her legacy on Earth. I pray that she has found peace after her meaningful and wonderful life. It is weird for me to think that she is gone after seventy-seven years on this Earth, but I am amazed by what she has gone through and it inspires me to lead a more meaningful life. I went to the service today and thought a lot about what my Grandma meant to me and how I should live my life in her footsteps. She cared so much about other people and I hope that I can be like that. I hope that I can do something that will really make a difference in the lives of others and make me feel good about what I am doing in the world. I will admit that I want to feel good about myself; I want to be happy and I do not believe that is a sin. Likewise being in the church was a powerful and daunting experience for me. I felt so pressured to behave a certain way and I hope that what I do in life will serve God. I believe so strongly in my faith more recently because I have realized that God is really present in my life. I hope that my grandma has found peace with the lord.

I have thought a lot today about my life. I have thought so much about what I want to do with the rest of my life as people ask me, “What are you majoring in?” or “What do you want to do?” I feel so overwhelmed by these questions. I wish I was like my aunt and knew I want to be a doctor, so set in stone and secure. I wish I was passionate about some science like my grandpa or uncle. I wish I could be satisfied with a simple job like working at a hotel or some sort of business. Alas, I am not secure in these ways. I don’t have that passion for such a particular field, nor am I flexible enough to do whatever comes my way and accept it. I am picky and yet I am hoping to do something without a clear path. I guess I will just need to be more flexible, but flexibility is key in life. If I can deal with what is thrown at me through every twist and turn, and make the most of it like my grandma, I can really make the most of my life.

While I am sad today and grieving my loss I am also inspired by the life of my grandma. She went through incredible struggle, yet enjoyed incredible wonder in her life; it is my goal to continue to make the most out of my life while I am privileged to have it.