Do Nothing

I spent my last week doing nothing. Nothing substantial towards fulfilling my goals and priorities. I only sufficiently fulfilled my goal to hang out with my friends but otherwise, I didn't really accomplish much. I had a jolly time. That's for sure. But being just jolly and forgetting the worries and goals I have in other matters doesn't just throw away those other goals. I want to do a lot. I want to make a difference in the world. I want to learn as much as I can. I want to be happy with myself. And there are many short-term and long-term goals that weave their way in to my life in order to fulfill my ultimate dreams of sustained happiness and fulfillment.

I want to do well in school. But this week I took a break from the book I need to read and the Japanese work that I wanted to start.
I want to be a great senior class president. But this week I took a break from the duties and didn't even think about the auction.
I want to go to college, so I need to earn money. But this week I did not take any action towards getting a job.
I want to do a lot of things. But I haven't done anything this week because I was lazy and afraid to take action and shake up my easy life.

I realize that in the long-run my life won't be so easy if I just relax and do nothing now. But I also need to relax and take a break from the stress from day to day. I hate doing nothing. It seems so wonderful, but then I sit back and ponder my unaccomplishment leaving me distraught and miserable.

I do not want to sit back and let life pass by. But I don't want to control life either.

I guess the point of life is to figure out at each step of the way how to find that balance. How to make a balance between the work and the play. How to balance stress and relaxation. How to balance friendships, family, and personal time. We have to just go through this journey and accept that it is not going to be smooth, for that would be boring; but it doesn't have to be chaotic if we do not fear the future.

Tomorrow I start my summer classes. Finally I will be doing something. And I will start to do more.... but not too much starting this coming week. Life is like the tides. Ebb and flow. But we all find some sort of balance somehow.