I think I am suffering withdrawal symptoms from lack of community service. Awesome. Thank god I am teaching Hebrew tomorrow.
So many people live their lives without doing anything to help. I definitely am one of the selfish people on Earth. It's easy. It's comfortable. I can focus on myself, play sporcle, do homework, watch tv, and be comfortable. But comfort definitely doesn't equal happiness. People make me uncomfortable. Time makes me uncomfortable. Risk makes me uncomfortable. I am so closed off from the world. I am so closed minded. I see myself in so many people. I am too comfortable with my messes, and too easily stressed by the thought of cleaning them up.
I keep thinking recently that I have burned out. Then again I have never lived as much as I do know. I have stronger friendships than ever before in my life. I have more to do in my life. College. Scholarship apps. Community Service. Work. School (never easier). Martial Arts. Health. Leadership. And yet I am so limited by all this because I can't seem to grasp it all. I am so easily overwhelmed. I feel so weak. I feel like I am declining. But I am not. I just need to find balance. Everything in moderation. Limit my internet use, for example. That's my goal for this next week. No Olympics, no crazy workload, just a focus on sleep, friends, scholarships, and school. Nothing else. Avoid sporcle. Avoid facebook. Maybe blog. But less wandering. Less aimlessness. Life is about purpose.
I know so many people who procrastinate so much. They almost treat it like it is a good thing. I make plans with people and they promise to arrive somewhere at some time, say 10 o'clock. Yet they manage to come at 10:30, 11, or even later. It ruins all the fun. And it bothers me that they blow it off like its no big deal. And each individual time it isn't. But it messes up my life when my friends and peers are late. It's important to take life a little less seriously, but how can it be a good thing to be late? For me it's an issue of dishonesty and trust, that's all.
I need some more uncomfortable experiences in my life so I can write more!
Off to the skies, thrive on the ground.
"Down" - Something Corporate
Saturday, February 27, 2010
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