Sometimes I feel so incredibly downtrodden. Today I woke up completely exhausted, but I kept going. My friend then woke up late and I replied with a disgruntled tone and had to anxiously ask my mom for a ride to the bus in downtown Bellevue. I was worried about the elevator speeches in my technical communication class, and the sleepiness just kept shrouding me.
But something hit me as I walked out of technical communication up the hill toward economics. I was listening to Make It Stop by Rise Against and I couldn't help but be inspired. Listening to that song about such a heart-wrenching topic, motivated me to live for a purpose. I refuse to be another statistic in the long list of downtrodden gay youth who have seen their lives dismantled by the awful prejudice of our society. I refuse to let my life fall apart because there are so many people from my past, Jews who survived heinous genocides, Chinese who persevered through colonial intrusions, Japanese who lived through the disturbing internment of World War II, immigrants who started with nearly nothing and worked their way up in this harsh capitalist economy, Americans and Canadians who proudly fought off attackers of our rare and distinguished democracy. I look to my identity in the present, this unique melding of races and I am even more inspired. I can embark on a new path. I am excited to blaze a trail as a young mixed race man. I am ecstatic to stand up for my rights as a gay man. I am thrilled to represent two amazing countries as a dual citizen. I am inspired by my faith and the amazing depth of spirituality I will continue to encounter in Judaism. I am proud of who I am from the inside out whether that be my race, sexual orientation, citizenship, religion, or personality. I will stand up for myself and as a representative of all that I am. I don't desire to appease any of these groups or seek validation, rather I want to make myself proud knowing that I am true to myself.
It's honestly hard to be honest, but I believe in it. I am going to change my life for the better, I just know it. I believe it. Starting right now, good night!
"Far Away" - Marsha Ambrosius
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