Party, Pinnacle, Peace

One day can change the world. One moment can cause a shift in thought. The more I go into the future the better the world I live in seems to be. Whether it is good friendships, romantic sojourns, thought-provoking music, or plain excitement, my life seems to have its bright spots. What is that place they call Nirvana? Why do we search for inner peace? I'm rather clear that my addiction to stressful and busy situations creates this urge for relaxation and calm. But I know that I would hate a life of pure sloth. Today was a day when I saw the subtlety of life and the harmony of craziness.

Today I had a party. I was so thrilled to have a party for my friends' birthdays (and my own). I love meeting with my friends and seeing smiles on their faces. It was a bit chaotic having it in a location that was not particularly easy to find or reach, but the beauty of the location was the reason it was so magical. My friends are a diverse group of people and while I may not share everything in common with them, I definitely enjoyed the pure company of them all. I have the friends who love to play soccer and I have the friends who like to talk. I have the friends who like to sit alone and watch the lake. But is there any thread that connects us all? Yes, they are all my friends. Even though they are different I am still close to all of them and that makes life special.
I just need to learn to stick with one group at a time. I can't be alone at the pier, playing soccer, and chatting at the same time. Similarly at lunch I must choose one group to sit with. It's okay to split it up some days for the spontanaeity and spice of life. I hope I can make a commitment every once in a while...
I also wish I had tried to enjoy my party more. I feel like I spent too much time worrying about the people coming and going and finding the place and cleaning up than the enjoyment of it all. I will be working hard this entire year for prom and I better enjoy it. But in only two weeks and one year I will be at prom. Life is passing by so quickly and vividly.

After the party, I took three friends home. And on the way we saw the resolution of the sunset from atop the mountain we all live on. You could see all of Seattle, Lake Washington, Bellevue, and the Olympics. The colors were an array of purples, magentas, pinks, oranges, yellows, blues, and blacks. The skyline of Seattle and the flashing lights make you feel so small yet so large. It was not beautiful; it was awe-inspiring. I have never seen such a spectacular moment. I have seen amazing views - superb vistas are one of my passions - but I have never taken it all in like tonight. I spontaneously went with the two friends I had still in my car and went to the top of the hill where the exclusive multi-million dollar mansions are. We weren't supposed to be there per se, but why should such beauty be reserved for the rich?
Returning from my digression on class, the view was inspirational. The three of us all are facing many various challenges. I know that I am struggling to live my life in a satisfactory balance and that I worry far too much and that I place expectations far too high for myself. I have my struggles with love and romance like my friends. But the moment was so special because we had that shared awe and realization. These beautiful moments make you realize that your life is so inconsequential in the context of the reality. These surprising vistas make you realize what you miss when you are afraid. These times make you understand your struggles and make you question your life. These views make you reflect on the past and hope for the future. I prayed. I wished. I hoped. There are the petty comments one can discuss like what will the place be like in ten years. But the real deepness of it all it through the introspection one suddenly has when they admire such wonder. Love these moments to the fullest. Love those people you love to the fullest.

Peace. And after that moment I talked. I discussed. I listened. I watche Ugly Betty. I took in the craziness of everyone else's lives. The drama and the crushes. The fallouts and the break ups. The questions of the future and the questions of sexuality. Is that girl going to like me? What will happen to us? OMG we are graduating in one year and three weeks. Did I do the right thing? She is so totally immature. What if... I hurt her, make the wrong choice, forget to fix my mistakes? What should I do? These ar ethe questions that every teenager faces. Not to sound like a scholarly critic, but these questions are the basis of existence for many a teen in the Eastside.
For me, talking to my friends and listening to their hearts makes me feel so proud. I feel like I can be trusted. I feel like I am cared about. I always want to be a better person. I always search for that perfection. I always want to see that life become the life I want. I want to love. I want so much. I search for self-improvement. But is even about me? Life, my life, is not about what I do, but about how I live as a member of this globe.