These past few weeks I have felt something I haven't felt since I was a kid. I have felt... happy.
Something has changed. Something within me is making me feel happy for the first time in so long. I am finding hope in strange places. I am discovering wonder in the most unusual ways. I am living, really living. I am being myself. I am comfortable with who I am for once. I am being real.
Somehow, even though so much is not perfect, I am finding happiness. It's so weird. It's not like the happiness I have felt most of my teenage life. It is not fake. It is not temporary. It's not the kind of happiness in which I need something or someone to initiate my happiness. I am happy just to be alive.
I've been waiting for years to wake up one morning, and just be happy. I think I've finally done so.
"Drive" - Incubus
One of my favorite songs. And finally I'm following the lyrics I have believed in for so long.
Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can't help but ask myself how much I let the fear
Take the wheel and steer
It's driven me before
And it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal
But lately I'm beginning to find that I
Should be the one behind the wheel
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes yeah
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
I'll be there
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Yayy! I'm glad you're feeling good! I hope it stays. :) You happy makes me happy!
ReplyDeleteAnd btw, I got a job at Kumon. I remember you hated your experience there, but I think you said you worked at the one in the Highlands? I got my job there.. +_+ but the lady doesn't seem mean at all! She was so nice! +_+_+ Please let me know if that's the same place you were talking about....