This morning I finally woke up with a somewhat positive tilt for the first time in years. It was a weird feeling. It wasn't like I woke up thrilled. But I just woke up 51% happy and 49% unhappy. It was that little bit of happiness that just made it so surprising. I don't really remember when I last woke up happy, but this was an incredible start.
After that relief, I took my shower. I dreaded the communal showering concept at first, but it's really not all that bad; I've just gotten used to it. Same with dorming. It's all well and good here and thankfully I have a tolerable roommate. Still there are the occasional conflicts, but otherwise life is basically quite peaceful.
Class today was sort of drab. I basically slept through my lecture on bats, but I participated almost a bit too much in our discussion of populations and carbon legacies from human reproduction in my lab section. I was a little disappointed in my quiz section by the lack of motivation in my group. People here seem to shrug off academia as if it is a sin. I feel like I can't be myself with my passion for learning because people think I am being stuck up or condescending. I just love to discuss things that are complex, and while that may be a little elitist, it's just who I am.
I later phonebanked for Suzan Delbene. I am starting to tire of politics, but I guess that means I've been diving deep into something I love. I have done so much, I'm guessing I've done twenty or so hours of volunteer work for the Democrats, and I hope that it ends up benefiting progressiveness. I'm exhausted, but I love it. I really need to work out and keep my life in check, but I am searching balance. I ate well today, a delicious pupusa at this lovely place a block from my dorm and pappardelle for dinner with actually tasty kale. I love it when food actually tastes delicious. There is plenty to look forward to in the world even if I feel so alone at times. It's weird how when you are around the people you love you actually feel less loved. But I will find more to love, more love, and love all around.
"Further" - Correatown
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