When I started university, being honest to everyone about myself and opening up to friends, I thought everything would improve. In some ways life became incredibly better. I no longer struggled with procrastination, and I have succeeded academically. I am accomplishing many things, yet I feel so unfulfilled, so unhappy.
I thought that my friendships would strengthen, but it seems like they are all falling apart. My best friends are so distant either literally or figuratively that I feel like I have no friends. I have plenty honestly, but I have no one I trust.
I feel so alone right now. This sinking feeling reminds me so depressingly of my life last year. I thought I had moved forward and changed as a person, but I am struggling in so many ways. I thought that becoming more self-aware would improve my self-esteem, but I seem to be imploding this week. I have fallen on the same path that I always have been on and I haven't been able to avoid it because I am surrounded by the same people and the same things all the time. I need to escape Washington and discover what truly matters to me, but I don't think I'll be happy just by escaping. I am so frustrated with life right now, but as much as I want to see people, I am desperately needing to figure out myself right now.
What's wrong with me?
"Home" - Ellie Goulding
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