The Brain

A peaceful image from my trip to San Diego, in contrast to the complexity of my following discussion.

Our minds are complex. I really struggle with understanding other people's feelings especially. Emotions often don't make sense, in fact I struggle with my own emotions perpetually. Emotions are insane and complicated. They are not simple. They are not a positive science, but rather a normative one. Or at least that's the way I see. Perhaps they can be looked at through a factual lens, but emotions themselves are quite subjective.

Emptiness has been strong today. For some odd reason I feel more empty around center people than others. It is as if I want the friendship of some friends over others. It seems like when I hang out with the friends who are conveniently available, I am unhappy with the situation because I don't feel like I am good enough to hang out with the friends who are less available. But then I have to remind myself that just because some people are busier than others doesn't mean that they dislike me.

Comparisons often make me sick. I compare myself to better looking people, taller people, smarter people, more successful people, more popular people, more charismatic people, and I wonder what is wrong with me. I dreams of being able to be so many people all in one, but I guess that isn't really possible. The one thing I really need to focus on is being myself. The most cool people in this world are those who try to be themselves, no one else.

Finally, I need to be studious in this upcoming quarter. I want to feel proud of myself. I am going to make the most of every moment. Life is short, and I am going to try to enjoy as much as I can. This trip really reminded me of the joy of life, so I hope I can continue to propel joy throughout my life this quarter.

"The Suburbs" - Arcade Fire



At first I thought this video and song would relate to my hatred of the suburbs, but I don't get it at all. Please help me by explaining your interpretations.