Cheesecake

I'm disappointed. My schedule is not how I want it for a variety of reasons. I don't have any classes with some of my closest friends. I don't have the teachers I necessarily want. I don't have the arrangement that would be ideal. Nothing worked perfectly. But in the past I've had everything work out well. Last year I had the perfect set of teachers and classes for friends and learning. But this year nothing has gone my way. I'm even on a special list of mess-ups by the counselor.

Maybe things could have worked out better, but they didn't. And if it always worked out well life would be as easy as cake. Cheesecake is marvelous to eat. And for years I've eaten delicious cheesecake, rich and sumptuous. So now, I've been handed some zucchini. It's not like I hate zucchini, but if I had to choose between cheesecake and zucchini I think the choice is obvious....

But it's good to try something new every once in a while. Maybe the zucchini is actually a cucumber or tastes even better than the cheesecake. Cheesecake spoils the body, but zucchini strengthens it. Likewise ideal conditions only set you up for a greater struggle if you ever face hardship. I'm happy in an odd way that I don't have my schedule the way I want it because for once I have to accept life and make it work. I will make my life awesome. I will live beyond my schedule. My schedule doesn't control me at all.

Tonight I saw a wonderful sunset. Not the most beautiful one I've ever seen but it was so astonishing. The dark clouds seemed so foreboding above me, but then in the far distance beyond Seattle and towards the Olympics I could see the oranges and yellow that signaled magnificence and hope. While life may seem dismal now, I know there is hope and a possibility for a better future. Even though it wasn't the most spectacular looking vista, it was the imperfection that gave me hope. The ability for us to change and become better. To grow and learn. To struggle and improve.

Life will just have to be taken in stride. I will surrender myself to God's will. I will let go of my biases. I will abandon my indiscriminate irrationality. I will accept imperfection as beauty.

"Surrender" Billy Talent



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