Yesterday evening was incredibly social. I hung out with some friends who can be a little dull and overbearing, but I had a rather enjoyable time. I felt bad leaving, but I was excited to go to my party. Thankfully I went with my good friend, but it was quite a new experience. I have never seen so many people transformed. It wasn't like these are stereotypical party people, instead these are those nice nerdy people who happened to all be drunk together and enjoying themselves. It really made me feel like I was stepping one step further toward maturity seeing what adults do with their freedoms. I didn't get drunk like my friends, but I still enjoyed myself, went outside my comfort zone and felt relaxed for the first time in a while. Life was joyful in that moment, a feeling I haven't had since class began two months ago.
Now as March approaches utterly fast, I feel incredible anxiety. I want to live. I want to thrive. I feel like I have wasted incredible amounts of time in my life worrying, fearing the consequences, and now truly embracing how vibrant a life I can lead. I don't need to get drunk to live a fulfilling life, but I need to stop wasting time surfing the internet aimlessly, wasting sleep and vital time with good friends.
Honestly there are so many things I want to DO with my life. I need to stop contemplating my future and start living. My dreams need to become my reality. School will take it's place, but I cannot allow it to engulf my life. Friends will have their place, but I must make the most of every moment with them. Life is dramatically brief, and I have too many things I dream of before life is complete.
Dream. Live. Joy Exists!
"If I Were You" - Diagram of the Heart
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