Forgetful

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.
Helen Keller

I aim high. I try to reach for the stars. I know that I can find success through my efforts. But my dreams are lofty and difficult to obtain.

Today the names of the National Merit Semifinalists were announced. I have a list of dreams on my whiteboard that I look at every day on my desk. One of these dreams was to be a National Merit Scholarship Semifinalist. But my name wasn't in the newspaper announcement. I didn't achieve that dream. I tried and I got in the ninety-eighth percentile, just shy of the qualifications. If I had answered one or two more questions correctly I could have achieved my dream.

But I still went forth and congratulated my good friends, several of whom were semifinalists. I felt proud for them, but also ashamed and depressed for not being as successful. I feel so inferior to these people who are so brilliant. I have one friend who has a passion for music and creates orchestras, concerts, and the like, not to mention being president of honor society. Then I have my friend and neighbor who heads the robotics club, goes to work often, has a 4.0, and so much more. Then I have my friend who is smart and just plain happy with life.

I look at these people and I get two feelings.

I feel left out of an exclusive club.

And I feel inspired.

Even though the door closed for this dream, many more possibilities lie before me. And as Helen Keller says, I need to stop worrying about the one lost dream and find the many other dreams ahead of me. I will turn this closed door into motivation for perseverance and more effort.

I need to remember the many opportunities ahead of me. I need to remember the many ideals I have. I need to renew my hope. I need my friends. I need spirit. I need optimism. But where do I find it? I find it when I realize my dreams. I find it when I find a purpose. I will make a difference in this world. I will live outside myself. I will forget this National Merit Contest and move on to the many other opportunities of life.

Life with purpose. Accepting my flaws and taking in the lessons. I will take my bow this time; it's all I can do.

"Take a Bow" - Glee (originally Rihanna)