Finished

I finally reached the destination. The auction reached its end today, and we were rather successful. While me earned less money than last year our profit nearly doubled thanks to the incredibly cheap cost of our location. No, it wasn't perfect, but after all the work and stress I put into this project I am finally finished.

However I am not as ecstatic as I should be. Yes, I am overwhelmingly happy, but today I realize how important it is to find happiness during the journey, not just at the end of it. I love the reward of fulfillment at the end, but that is such a risk to believe in some ultimate euphoria upon finishing the journey. If I have to go through so much pain to garner reward, I am clearly not leading my life rightly. I am gradually changing, and I am committed toward shifting my negative outlook. I struggle with my cynical family and the inbred hatred I have for positivity, but I need to stop worrying about the cause and face the facts. I can't change how I was raised or my way of thinking entirely, but I can gradually reduce my extreme moodiness and irrationality. I can learn to manage my time better and handle the stress in a more productive manner. I can't be perfect, but I can do well.

We always will search for that resolution that sums up all these life lessons, but I am satisfied with the fact that we can't. If I can accept my imperfections and work with them instead of against them I can be who I want to be.

"The Resolution" - Jack's Mannequin