A&O

I completed my University of Washington advising and orientation (A & O) today. It was rather stressful. I realized how crazy it is to complete a double degree, yet I also am motivated to accomplish my goals. I just might not be able to do all the crazy things I want to do in the short time I have at the UW.

Orientation was crazy, but I could sum up my lessons with brevity.

1. Conformity
I have always wanted to be the non-conformist. I wanted to go to Berkeley to "fit-in" with the non-conformists. I wanted to go to some fancy brand name school to be the non-conformist. Surprisingly, that was actually me conforming I realize. I realize that I wanted to go to those cool name schools mostly because everyone around me wanted to. It is really hard to be the outcast of friends who is contented with the nearby state school, but I guess that makes me more of a non-conformist. While I hate being with everyone from high school here, I really have an opportunity to be an individual here instead of being controlled by financial limitations. Social limitations are difficult to overcome, but much more possible than monetary controls. While it may seem daunting to be myself amongst so many people from high school, if I cannot create my unique identity amongst these people how can I do so with new people, or in the rest of my future. I will be my own person and I will not allow people to control me in fear of their judgments. Still I feel so awkward around everyone, and I just don't know how people can be so comfortable in life. I am just such an awkward person and I really dislike it. I wish I could just fit in with everyone else and be... normal. Maybe if I just try to be myself more, live freely, then maybe I can be less awkward and more confident.

2. Individualism
I always knew that UW would be less personal, but I didn't realize it would be so crazily individualistic. I guess there are benefits to this. Nobody is in your face telling you what to do. Yet I still feel so lost. I need guidance. Nevertheless all this anxiety I struggle with in making my own decisions will be hopefully overcome through this individualistic structure. I will learn to adapt. I have never gone to school without friends to go to classes with, but for the first time I will actually be an individual, I will forge my own path and meet others developing similar paths. Whatever happens, I will definitely have an interesting time here, learning to be myself and adapt. UW is all about adaptation. UW is about going with the flow and creating strong learning habits for the future. UW is about making the most out of life. I think I will be pushed to really overcome some of my most innate fears at this majestic institution.

3. Anticipation
I have always dreaded going to the school only 25 min. away. I met a fellow Husky who also had the choice to be a Golden Bear. We both obviously chose the local, cheaper, less prestigious college, and we both shared some similar regrets and frustrations. In no way is UW as amazing at first as Berkeley. It just doesn't share that aura. However in the end, the courses I take here at UW will be considerably similar and the learning will be just as strong. It is all up to me. And I really am surprised by this school. I really think this will be a fantastic place for me and I cannot wait to go to college. The Dawg Daze seem a little kooky, yet it looks like a fabulous way for me to become part of this college that I have never really been excited about. I guess the good thing about low expectations is that they can only be impressed. One other good point is that usually I note flaws of places immediately. UW sure had its share of flaws, but I was surprised that I wasn't overwhelmed with criticism like some schools I felt (especially the ones in DC that I almost went to... good thing I stayed out here). The people will definitely be the best part of this school; they are all so friendly and chill. And I sure love the architecture. This place is not perfect, but I know that it will offer me the best next four years and the perfect stepping stones for the rest of my life.

4. Disappointment
Like everything in life, we face disappointment. I will talk to an adviser on Thursday, but I would like to see if I can still have my dreams fulfilled. I really want to study both International Studies and Enviro. Sci., but I don't know if I can't do it all. I couldn't even find classes that fit with my times for autumn quarter, but I will quickly figure it all out... I hope. We cannot always receive what we ask for. I have searched and searched, but there are just no classes that suit my needs entirely. If life were so simple, it would be too easy. We all learn to mold to whatever pattern we find.

"Time" - Hans Zimmer (Inception Soundtrack)