I realize suddenly that I have been single for 20 months. Is that sad? Is it depressing that I haven't liked anyone for at least 5 months? What's wrong with my heart? What's wrong with me? What am I afraid of?
Loneliness is my most bitter fear and anguish.
"Boys With Girlfriends" - Meiko
Otherwise, my day was pretty good. There was sunshine. I was sleepy. I "graduated" from my temple and gave a speech to about 100 people in my congregation about how grateful I am for the accepting attitude of my temple. I really do love how my temple sees past race even though I am one of the maybe ten out of the 1000 people at my temple who is non-White. So different from school where nobody seems to understand how it feels to be left out for being multiracial.
Britain had an election. I watched BBC live coverage until 2AM pacific time. The weather in London sucks compared to our wonderful weather. I guess perspective is important. Although I wish our politics were more aligned with my views like the British.
We watched movies today. I started a statistics project. Everyone wants to take the easy route these days. But where's the fun in that?
In the late afternoon as the heat and sunshine peaked I got to see my the exhibit my friend had been organizing for months. It was a really cool idea: recognize 10 Seniors who normally wouldn't be recognized and match them with a talented artist to create a piece of artwork that represents the subject to the community. The art was magical. But the stories made them that much more vibrant. I love art. I love people. I love sunshine.
What a day. If only I had someone to share with it and hold hands with in the sun...
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I totally understand. Hopefully not a million people read this, but I have to say I like to look at movie kiss scenes on youtube... LOL. I'm sure you'll find that special someone in college or somewhere in the near future. :) I think being single for a long time makes finding that person so much more special. :D i know how you feel though. xD
ReplyDeleteCongrats on graduating! That's so cool! I understand your racial thing-ish. Before middle school, I lived in this town where there were like... at most 5 asians in the whole school. This one kid would always spread freakin' rumors about me. D:<
and I went to the collective memories arts gallery too!! I totally understand so much of your post! And your courage to want to not take the easy route is exactly why you got into those off-the-heezy schools. :D
enjoy the rest of your weekend!!
and i love this song!!
ReplyDeletehaha erin i totally understand what you're talking about. and you too max.
ReplyDeletebut really, i think it's better not to be caught up in the whole crush thing. shannon helped me realize that it's really not a big deal. i think that high school, and even college, are about finding out who you are. if you worry too much about caring for someone else and molding yourself to be someone they like, it's not gonna work. things will fall into place, just enjoy it :)
i've been single for 3 years...so i don't know what you're talking about haha. love you!
isabelleeee