Waves Create Beaches

"Oh No" - Marina and the Diamonds

Lyrics:

Don't do love, don't do friends
I'm only after success
Don't need a relationship
I'll never soften my grip

Don't want cash, don't want car
Want it fast, want it hard
Don't need money, don't need fame
I just want to make a change
I just wanna change (x4)

CHORUS:
I know exactly what I want and who I want to be
I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine
I'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy
Oh, oh no, oh no, oh no

One track mind, one track heart
If I fail, I'll fall apart
Maybe it is all a test
Cause I feel like I'm the worst
So I always act like I'm the best

If you are not very careful
Your possessions will possess you
TV taught me how to feel
Now real life has no appeal
It has no appeal (x4)

(chorus repeat twice)

I'm gonna live, I'm gonna fly,
I'm gonna fail, I'm gonna die,
I'm gonna live, I'm gonna fly
I'm gonna fail, gonna die, die, die, die

(chorus repeat twice)

Da-da-dum...
Oh, oh no, oh no, oh no

Wow, this song incredibly conveys the change I am making in my life.
Until recently I lived my entire life as suggested by the lyrics of the song. I ignored all of the
wonderful things about life like love and friendship. I tried to handle my personal emotional
struggles by working toward my goals. I lived my entire life for things like Berkeley and
whatever the next dream would be. But suddenly I have been thrust into reality. I am not
going to Berkeley.

Now I have no specific dreams. I don't live under this false impression that I need to have a
certain accomplishment to discover happiness. I can find happiness in the small things. I can
adapt to the changes I will face. I can be myself. It would be easier to have a certain goal like law
school at Berkeley and become a lawyer, but I know that I won't be happy if I get myself on a
track again. I will still work hard. I will still seek success, but rather than living like a horse with
blinders I will actually look around me often.

We all get trapped in tunnel vision time after time. We have to free ourselves from the grip of
this tunnel vision. I had to do so by accepting myself and coming to grips with reality. I still have
dreams, often wild ones, but my happiness no longer is held hostage by them. Rather I am
discovering how to dream, live, and love all at the same time.

As I was at the park today I had a lot to say to my best friend. It was only a small amount of
words, but it meant a lot. For me it was incredibly difficult. But I hope it only makes life better
for the both of us. Along the lakeshore the waves kept crashing and crashing. Eventually those
waves create beaches. It all seems like such a metaphor. At first in life there is awkwardness, that
first touch of water and rock. Then there is the chilly breaking of the ice, followed by a rather
cordial wrapping of the water around the rock. However after a while there are storms and the
rocks and water crash together. If one can survive that craziness the beaches can exist, the
paradise comes out of the storms.