Today was exhausting, and I still have a lot ahead of me even though the day is far over. I should be sleeping now, but I have so much homework to complete, and it never seems to end. I sort of just want to collapse and stop trying anymore. I am so behind today and I am so frustrated with myself. I can never seem to get myself to bed before midnight, even now when I am sick and I must. I have no will power it seems. I barely am motivated by anything. I have such a struggle to manage my time, and I don't even do that much. I don't understand it at all and I really need to analyze my life, spending some time alone reflecting on who I am, why I have ended up this way, and what I will do to change my life for the better.
I have decided to try another idea from a friend. This approach requires that I look at the world in its spectacular absence of negative. I am excellent at noticing the negatives in life and I am sent spiralling downhill into an abyss of misery. I want to avoid that and I have been trying to focus more on the positive in life. While this has worked some, I hope that this fresh perspective will open me up to more positivity in life.
In other news, today was a bit of a downer. I am truly exhausted and I feel gross inside and out. I don't feel confident at all today and I feel pitiful looking at how much work I need to do that has just sat there in recent days. I do know that I need to rest as I feel my temperature rising far too high as I type even this blog post. Illness matched with high stress, and awful weather especially in what was supposed to be a rather easy week between my midterms, is killing me. Even so, I got an excellent grade on my midterm in chemistry and hopefully tomorrow will be better as I can finally get a chance to sleep in on Thursday morning.
"You and Me" - Parachute
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