It has been quite the exhausting day. I really just want to sleep. I feel like I have gone nowhere in my life in the past few days. I have been sick and tired, and the list of to-dos keeps piling up like crazy. I can't taste the glorious pleasure of exquisite food, or smell the freshness of the air. I am too tired to recognize the beautiful sights, sounds, people, and actions that surround me here at UW. I feel like I am just a vessel carrying a body and a somewhat functioning brain and I am unable to really belong in the midst of this craziness, which I should be fully involved in.
This is the problem. I have no stamina. If I really want to be the person I want to become I need to have the motivation, determination, and stamina to get through one quarter at least, and of course the rest of my life. I can't just sprint and expect to continue the powerful ambush on my work and achievements that I can attain in a single week of motivation. Who am I kidding, I can't even last a week at full throttle. But I need that in order to reach my full potential. I don't know how to balance it, but I am tired of only a rare day when I am getting through instead of the other way around.
Then again, maybe it's only my outlook, which is just as difficult of a struggle. I don't know how to stop being so stressed. I am so tired of my life being like this, and I am so ready to turn a new leaf. I really need some time just to reflect and back away from all the craziness so I can return with just as much passion and fervor as I want to.
"Monster" - Meg & Dia
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