I had a lot of heart to heart conversations today. Today was one of those days when I was quite tired from life and sort of miserable, but by mid afternoon a friend who I hadn't spoken to in a while actually called me. I think he has finally caught up to me in terms of making our friendship a mutual two-way relationship rather than the one-sided yucky one that seemed to be until after we split our ways across the country for college. I feel like I have finally reached peace with him and we can have an awesome summer.
That was only the beginning. I went to my second appointment with my therapist and I opened my eyes so much to who I am and why I am struggling with so much. I felt like I opened up so many new perspectives and the analysis of myself was deep enough to well up some tears. I wrote so much about that experience and I finally felt like I had opened a new barrier that had been encased for so long.
As I went through the rest of my evening I had a really amazing conversation with my closest friends and I felt like I broke through even more barriers with them. I had so much quiet and subtle tension recently with my friends and I finally felt like I opened up a lot of the struggles that I had shared with them. They also opened up to me and I felt closer than ever before to my familial circle of friends.
To top it all off, a girl on my floor noticed my distress after so much heart-wrenching conversation and we had a jolly chat about all sorts of things. It was great to finally have a real conversation with someone on the floor! I can't believe it took me this long, but I guess I really need to show my vulnerability more often to other people sometimes. People don't trust you if you seem superhuman and insensitive. I think I am a friendly rather kind person on the inside and I think finally someone saw that inside me.
I am so happy, but now I have to do all the work that I have put off. Oh well. Life goes on and if I keep on going I can live such a wonderful life!
"Edge of Glory" - Lady Gaga
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