Break Me Out

I guess that's one skill I need to work on. I wish I was more tactful. But I'm okay with being a little less tactful than the other people I know. I went to a party today and although I am friends with the people, I am not that close to all of them. They also go to far more parties than I do and are definitely not as anti-social, blissfully innocent, and nerdy as me. I mean they share some of my interests but I just don't have the same chemistry with those friends as I do with others. But that's mostly cause I don't know them very well and it takes me a long time to get loose with people.

I guess that's a good quality. I don't give myself away too easily. I always thought I did. I mean, look at this blog. But in reality I don't go out in the world and get crazy. It could be bad, but in a way it's also good. I need to just relax at a party and enjoy myself instead of being awkward, and tonight I was a mixture of both. But that's okay. I learned through osmosis.

One of the most frustrating parts of the party was the constant talk of boyfriends and girlfriends. Gosh, I think I've talked enough about how I want that in my life too, but alas, I am single. And I continue to ban myself from any relationships as I will do for the rest of the year. It would be wonderful to have some short summer fling, but I need to just focus. I really want to have the romantic relationship. But it's one thing I just can't do at the moment. However I'm always going to keep my mind and heart open to the girls who enter my world. Love will come I assume haphazardly, and at some point I will make an effort myself, but I think I need to wait.

Anyways, I know that I am ready for the world. I am going to free myself up a bit. Be a little more loose. Portray a friendlier demeanor. Intensely concentrate on my goals. Then escape into the freedoms of music, friends, and relaxation. Life is great. And I think I am heading towards a more fulfilling one. I think I can find that happiness that will sustain my energies.

"Break Me Out" The Rescues



Freedom.
From unhappiness.
From lassitude.
From self-pity.
From heartlessness.
From irrationality.
From fear.

What do you want to be free from?