Every Day

"Every Day" - Ten Second Epic



Every day, another one wasted
Every day, you get up and face it
Every day is a chance for redemption
Every day, every day

You said, time moves fast but you're still staying in park
As every chance takes off, you don't depart
But it's just the defense
For all the moments that name and define what we do
Well how about you?
We're all scared of breaking though

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These lyrics make a point. For the past three days I have worked. I did give myself a break on Saturday evening to hang out with my friends, but that was a disaster. While the magician was quite entertaining the first few minutes and even a bit after that, he never left! One of my friends loves magic, and everyone else was enjoying the show, but I just wanted to chat with my friends. And the magic incessantly went on. By the time we were done with dinner, the magician had spent about 3/4 of the time with us and we barely had time to talk. So it wasn't exactly my type of relaxation and fun.

Anyways, I enjoyed the sunset afterwords from the Highlands, but it just sort of made me sad. I went and saw the stars again, but all the way in Preston (actually not as far as it seems). I talked about my love life, but it only made me more saddened. I'm glad to have good friends. Thank goodness for friends, but I really want love. I need closure with one friend. I want to do something with my life. But instead I just trudge along with my drawing and my dull trivialities. I haven't really had much contact with people I care about in the past two days, so I guess I'm getting a little emotional. But I just feel so empty. I see the sky and I wonder what type of life I am leading.

I felt so miserable coming home today to find out I had an A- in drawing class. That isn't bad at all. I do feel good about that grade considering my abilities, but I just want an A like I would get at an art class at school. However at the community college I am actually learning something. But nonetheless I was still heartbroken by my grade. Yes it seems pathetic and puerile, but to me there is nothing else out there. I mean I do my extracurriculars and leadership positions, but I have spent so much time this summer devoted to this class, so much effort painstakingly spent on these messy drawing that I feel a pit in my stomach when I learn that all I am getting is an A-. Grades are so important to me. It's what I'm good at. I'm good at following the system. So when I can't succeed at the one thing I always trust myself to succeed in that's like a star gymnast being unable to make it through her routine or a fisherman not catching enough for his family. I know it seems extreme, but this is my skill. It's what I'm good at. But I can't even do well in what I am good at.

However I will not let this drag me down. As the song states, every day, you get up and face it/every day is a chance for redemption. So when I wake up tomorrow, I very well know that I will face my challenges and I have my chance at redemption. I can do it, but the question is will I? I can't let fear drag me down, I can't stay in park, I must overcome my fears and take that first step. That first small step that shakes up the dust. That first small step that changes my path.

That first small step that leads to another.