Lackluster

Currently I sit here. I've been on this computer for probably 70-80% of my day and the more I type the more I remain trapped within its realm. I have done college searches and brainstormed ideas to change the world. I have drawn my sister horribly and I have played computer games. I have sorted through books and set up my schedule for the next week. I have managed to do a lot in a rather short amount of time. I am proud of myself, just a little.

For a while now, I have been going with the flow. I have allowed life to push me around. I mean its summer and I thought it would be interesting to see what would happen if I let go and allowed life to lead. But it sucks. It just isn't me. I cannot sit here in lassitude. I need to do something with me life. I need to escape outdoors and climb mountains. I must finish some college, scholarship, and job applications. I need to finish up my list of goals. I need to help my community. If only if only. I wish I could do it all. But it's okay if I don't do everything. With the weather the way it is, it will be difficult to go to a glacial waterslide and fully enjoy it. But I can twist and bend my goals so that I still accomplish something but without losing its essence.

It's time to take the lead. To be in charge of my life. To get some sleep. To be in control of me and my path, while allowing life to throw it's perils and surprises. I think my relationship with life is starting to find some compromise and even a bit of a rapport. What a surprise.