Humans are inefficient. We waste so much time and energy. Why don't we just do what we are told? Why do we criminalize some people but not others? What's the point of all these emotions that we have that hold us back and create resentment? Emotions make us so weary. We burden ourselves we thoughts of love and passion. We sympathize and we yearn for vengeance. We grow tired, depressed, and even insane. We find pleasure and joy instead of diligently leading sedulous routines.
But without the wastefulness, without the emotion, we wouldn't be the humans that make us so amazing. Just think about it. Despite all the damage we have done to the planet we have accomplished so much. We have built towering and majestic skyscrapers. Climbed high peaks and mapped the globe. Created beautiful art from our hands and developed astounding technologies from our minds. Innovation and creativity have made us successful and are the only reason we live. If we were just robotic and mundane creatures we would not be able to the solve the problems we have created. Thus there is hope. Hope that our ability to create and invent will lead to a better world.
Some people are content with the routine way of life. But I am not. I want excitement, struggle, joy, success. I want to earn my success. I want to go through the pain and labors of the many faces of my country. People don't seem to understand why I love Berkeley because of its homeless people. I know it sounds odd and it isn't my only reason for loving Berkeley. But it allows me to peer into the lives of other people and understand the world around me more. I don't want the simplicity and dullness of a suburb or the "perfect" college where I will be "contented" with my life. I know I won't be contented and that understanding brings me contentment.
And currently my discontentment is centered around love and passion. I want to have my passion back. I want to care, but I seem to have lost it somewhere or somehow. But I will find it. I need to care. I need to have the energy that pushes me forward when I am struggling. All the while, I yearn for love and to be loved. Friendship brings so much but I want to just spend time with someone special. I want to devote myself to someone. I want to discover the sparks and the fury. I only wish I could find that fuel to propel me; where is it?
"Chasing Cars" Snow Patrol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ajy0w1XPJk8
The ultimate waste of time: chasing cars and desensitizing the world.
Wonderful.
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