You Gotta Believe

Life sucks. I was so sleepy today, and I will barely be awake tomorrow. I had some simple goals for college stuff today, but lassitude and sluggishness inhibited me; I was even falling asleep through the nightly news!

I am so behind, and I was determined to get ahead. I am faltering so greatly and I am feeling the pressure so intensely, but I feel some smidgen of hope ahead. I mean I know I can do it, but I just need to put forth the effort to manage my time, sleep, exercise, eating, and everything else in a way that will enable me to do all I want to the fullest. But this month I have limited my priorities: college apps (specifically uw and uc) and auction. I cannot get overwhelmed by everything else. Yes, there is work, temple, and school, but I need to do those two other things as well. Every other thing needs to sink away at the moment, and I even need to cut back a bit on school, work, temple, and health because I have fallen behind so much.

And this tumultuous time is ridiculously painful. I don't want to do anything at times and I live in constant fear of what ifs and procrastination. I am fatally behind, and I need to catch up; most of the time I feel like it is impossible. But I keep telling myself: "You gotta believe," like in the song by The Rocket Summer.

"You Gotta Believe" - The Rocket Summer



With all the upbeat rhythms and sounds, I just can't help but feel like believing. And if I can believe in myself and lose the doubts that hold me back so fervently, I can succeed, and feel confident.