My therapist once told me to dream. Write it all out, every day. I did that for a few weeks and I felt like my path was clearer. Now I am older and more mature, but I still believe that a clear dream can make life so much more meaningful.
I have a dream:
-go to college, the college of my dreams. whatever that may be.
-be in California in the sunshine near the ocean
-do something I love for work
-spend lots of time outside
-learn a lot
-explore the world
-be freely myself
-find love
-help the world
-have great friends
I feel like I have so much of my dream. I sort of just cling to that one part about California so much. Recently I have felt really depressed because I feel like my dream of Berkeley is out of reach. It probably is right now. But why does my dream have to come true in six months? I guess I am so used to getting what I want in my suburban, upper-middle class lifestyle, that I just expect my dreams to come true instantaneously. Perhaps God is trying to teach me a lesson about life. Real life is not as easy as it has seemed in my callow childhood. The reality is much more intense. But if we cannot come to grips with reality we will be perpetually unhappy. I guess finding the balance between dreaming and living is difficult, but I definitely need to stop worrying about my inability to follow my dreams, and start leading a wonderful life.
LIFE. If only I could be truly free here. I am so excited for a new start. I am so excited for the rest of this year. I will be in Hawaii in one week for goodness sake! I have some of the best friends in the world. I've been accepted to 4 colleges, all of which I will be happy to go to. I have a job interview next Tuesday. I have learned so much about myself and the world this year. Although I have so many internal doubts and fears, my life is pretty awesome. I might as well embrace it!
"You Can Breathe" - Jack's Mannequin
Saturday, March 20, 2010
The Dream
Labels:
Acceptance,
Appreciation,
Dreams,
Jack's Mannequin,
Life,
Perseverance,
You Can Breathe
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