I think I am slowly becoming me again. I still feel insecure and so afraid of life. But there is so much I can do to live as myself.
This weekend was easy. I really didn't get much done that would make my life spectacular. Nevertheless, the baby steps really make a difference in my self-esteem. Today I was trying to practice self-control with my computer. I am limiting my time online a little. Not enough to make life perfect, but yet again those baby steps are encouraging. I only have 60 push-ups to do as punishment for playing games (20 push-ups per transgression!).
Today I went to the Seattle Asian Art Museum to view art for my Japanese class. Afterward I sneaked a detour through the Madison Valley and down Lake Washington Blvd. I witnessed all the beautiful homes with views of the lakefront in one of the most diverse neighborhoods in Seattle. If I had to still live here, I definitely would aspire for some kind of community like that. Every place we are in, there is hope and there is spirit. If we want change, we have to be brave. If we are too afraid, we have to find happiness in the moment. And every once in a while God will nudge us one way or the other. And other times we land in unexpected, unexplainable situations and places.
I can do this! I can live!
"Diane, the Skyscraper" - Jack's Mannequin
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