The Darn Future

I am so excited for college. I just wish my decision could be easier. I love all my choices and they all seems so wonderful. But I really have to be smart.

Right now I don't like where I am in life. I am not passionate enough about what I care about. I am lost in so many ways. I need to regain my focus. I need to be more open-minded, less afraid, and wiser. I need to explore the world and go outside my comfort zone. But I also need to get my life back to a steady place.

UW offers me what I need right now. I need that simple, yet excellent education. I will be challenged in many ways, but UW offers me many opportunities to escape the hold of my life at the moment. It gives me the stepping stones toward so much in my life and just a place of solace. I love Seattle. I love my friends going there. I love the size and diversity. I love the cherry blossoms.

Occidental offers me so much different from what I expect. I fear it will be like high school. It is so tiny. It is so intimate. It could really force me to learn and think. But why do I need to spend nearly $15,000 more each year just to learn better? UW has just the same abilities to make me learn in new ways and challenge my mind. No, I didn't get into the honors program which would have really challenged my mind, but I can reapply in the next year. I have a goal at UW! If not, I will double major and excel in my studies. I will find internships and jobs. I will serve my community. I will participate in clubs that really matter and make a real impact. I will grow as a person. No, there is nothing that I exceptionally love about UW, but to tell you the truth it does deserve a place in my top group of schools. I guess the only drawback is the jock/frat atmosphere, which I realize is at every school, even tiny Oxy, the big classes, which I won't really have to take and will search for, and the disatisfaction after so much hard work. But really, I will be happy. It's difficult to get into UW. It doesn't have the ring like Berkeley, but graduate school is when that really matters anyways. UW can prepare excellently for Berkeley. I just need to get my act together. Can't do that much anywhere else without wasting money.

Money holds us back in so many ways, but that's capitalism. I can go in debt if I choose, but Berkeley won't be any better. Can you imagine, a triple dorm room at $12,000 a year? That's silly.

Nevertheless, I am lost. I am so so so lost. I want to make the right decision for these next four years. I am so scared that I will regret every moment of my decision. Yet I also believe every choice I have is excellent. I'll see what a few days of focus on UW leads me to. If I feel regret still I might have to change around my choice.

If anything, at least UW can become like Berkeley:

"University of Washington Student Strike"