Overly Overwhelmed

I have to choose a college. I have less than a month to decide four years of my future.

I should appreciate the choices I have. I've been accepted to seven schools and wait-listed at another. I love all my choices, but money is a cruel, cruel thing.

Nothing makes sense anymore. I am so tired from the yelling. I am so tired from the accusations. I am so exhausted from my life.

I hate this life I live. Hawai'i was a break from this all, but it only postponed the misery I face here. There is no escape.

I can try all I want, but there is no way out.

College is supposed to be my ticket to freedom. My ticket to dreams. My ticket to the life I determine.

But I will be saddled with debts and regrets no matter what choice I make. I wish I could see the positive in this all, but nothing seems great anymore.

I feel so crushed and drained. I just don't want to try anymore. I've been trying for years and trying to fit this culture of achievement and nerdiness. It's weird. I've tried to be a nerd for years. But I regret it so much. I regret all my crazed studying because in the end I'll probably be at the same college as people who had fun partying and drinking all these years while I studied and never slept. I have sacrificed so much of my life for stupid college and now all I have to show for it are schools that I am only somewhat satisfied with and a dream that is entirely out my reach financially. And the seemingly wonderful backup is tainted by the rejection from the Honors program.

I guess I just want to talk to someone about all of this who won't be judgmental and will just provide me with honest advice.

"Shoot the Breeze" - Frankmusik