
Today felt unfulfilling. I have many goals and aspirations, but today was full of missed opportunities to meet new people, spend my time wisely, apply for fantastic internships or scholarships, read a wonderful book, reflect on life, or enjoy social time with friends. As the evening neared and I exited a wasted meeting at a club, I went to my friends and talked for hours about my life and how unfulfilled I feel. I struggle so much with happiness. But we made a plan and that will be part of my next series of blog posts in April.
But until then, I will continue to dream. I dream today about myself, the one thing I can control for the most part in this crazy world. I dream of being okay. I dream of struggling at some times, but mostly accepting my mistakes and struggles, finding the happiness no matter the situation I land myself in. I dream that I am accepting of myself. I dream that I sit outside in the sun, rain, snow, cold, or hot, and I find the miracles that exist in the special moments of life that exist every day. I dream that I am able to flow through life like a swimmer, a dolphin, or an albatross sliding through the sky. I dream that I find peace within my heart and I have a passion for life instilled deep within me, unbreakable by the obstacles I face. I dream of giving my whole life to someone else, while still preserving the core of who I am. I dream of having an identity that goes beyond a simple label, rather an identity that encompasses the multiplicity of who I dream of being. I dream of a fundamental balance that holds me together despite the chaos that may contradict my inner being. I dream that dreams will thrive within me for long into my life. I dream that I am healthy in the physical body, mental attitude, and emotional spirit. I dream that I hold true to my beliefs and I live a life of purpose. I dream of being honest to myself and those around me. I dream of living with zeal and contentment. I dream of being me, and if there is nothing more to myself than that, then so be it.
"Absolute" - The Fray
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