Jelly Legs

Run two miles. Do seventy squats. Hold a wall sit for five minutes. Push myself to my limits. My legs are jelly. It feels fantastic. After enduring the temporary pain, the shakiness of my muscles sets in this feeling of fulfillment. I am determined. I am strong. I am confident. I will accomplish my goals. I will make a difference in my life and the world. I have the spirit. I have the passion. I will pour my kindness out.

Who am I?

I am Max. I love geography. I love friendships. I love otters. I believe in God, not destiny. I believe in life. I am a liberal. I love this world. I want to make this world a better place for people. I care a lot. I am a perfectionist. I am depressed. I am strong. I believe in myself. I have strong values. I have amazing friends and family. I am a nightowl. I often feel lost. I make big issues out of small ones. I am not a fast thinker. I can fully understand entire systems. I can reach out toward people. I am selfish. I am spoiled. I dream. I am crazy. I am a leader.

I am me. No one else. I don't follow all the rules. I don't fit in with all of society. I like it that way. I like who I am. I know I can always be better. But I am proud of myself. I don't want to sound cocky. I am just declaring my confidence.

I can hold that wall sit. I can do those squats and those miles. I can endure. I can fight. I am fighting for my happiness. And then I will fight for a greater cause.

For once I went ouside and enjoyed the sunshine, so rare here. I breathed in the beauty. I believe in myself. I don't even know why I feel confident. I guess I've decided to accept some of my imperfection and have faith in some of my positive attributes. I am seeking a fuller understanding of myself.
For once I am satisfied with my life. I realized today how much I love it here. The fresh smell of Washington. The spirit of Seattle. I do want to explore the rest of the world, but maybe it is okay here. Maybe I need to stop running away from my problems and start cherishing what I have now.
For once I am noticing how I react. I notice how I treat life. I see only the negative view of a situation. Now I am determined to grasp the hope and the positive. To take the criticism and to strengthen myself. Perhaps I am not good at Kumon, but perhaps I don't have to be perfect at everything.

I will endure. I will fight. I will live. I will thrive.

"Wait It Out" - Imogen Heap