Meursault

You've got issues dude. Yet maybe you know how to live. Maybe apathy and disinterest are better than caring so much. I live in constant fear and worry. I fear losing my friends. I fear loneliness. I hold so many ideals so dear. But if I didn't care it would only make me more selfish. Perhaps that's the way some people want to live, but I like our society enough that I do want to care.

So perhaps I just need to live outside myself a bit. Yes, I need to take care of myself, but once I have the basics I need to prevent myself from being obsessed with happiness. Life requires struggle. Life requires battles, hills and valleys. I am going to stop living so planned and worried. Except when I need to of course. I am going to take care of myself enough that I can slowly chisel away the fear that is a constant detriment. But I mostly need to just accept life enough that I don't become so easily discouraged. Balancing ideals and reality, goals and the moment.

I am strong. I am confident. I will let it out. I will be the lion. I'm ready to move forward and be alive. Really alive. I have to gulp and accept the struggles like Mrs. McVay and learn to live with them. I need to stop treating every day like a chore and start living like it. I need to stop trying to get everyone else to live my life and control the world around me. I need to just be me, accept others, and live for a greater purpose.

There's been threats of war against Yemen, Americans struggling with unemployment, and a massive earthquake in Haiti. There is misery in the world, but I really cannot just pout about it, I must act. And I must act at first thought, with spontaneity and confidence.

"Bulletproof" - La Roux