Scarcity of Harmony

Anger balloons. My heart beats fast, fast, faster even when I meditate to calm soothing head melodies.
I have nightmares of earthquakes in New York and instead of fear, I question the validity of the earthquake's magnitude in accordance with the fault lines in the Tri-State area. What kind of dreaming is that?
Feel sick, throw my legs about in the air like a rag doll at martial arts. Nearly collapse from a nauseous sickness in Kumon. Glare.
Dostoevsky aches my head, but I will feel fulfilled when completed. Gross feeling in throat won't go away.

It seems like I have to be either
a) unhappy for no reason
or
b) sick when unstressed

Where is the harmony in my life? Perhaps it is just perspective I need. Is this happiness? Feeling slightly nauseous, slightly ill, a little heartbroken, somewhat excited, moreover freer from obligations, overwhelmed with sleepiness, yet mostly content? Is this happiness?

Maybe it is the scarcity of harmony that makes life meaningful. Or maybe I do have a harmonious life for the most part and I just focus on the extreme emotions. Whatever it is, I guess this is happiness.

"Confusion Girl" - Frankmusik



I wish I could fly like Frankmusik...........